Mahjong aimai (want or don’t want)? I’ve played countless rounds of Mahjong over the past 10 years, pretty much because my answer is almost always ai (want). If the research on the benefits of playing Mahjong is accurate, I’ve got a pretty high chance of keeping dementia at bay in my later years. During this time, I’ve come across many different types of Mahjong kakis (friends). Lai (come), see if you recognise anyone.

The “Wait ah Wait ah”

They are the ones who are either very new to the game or rarely play (perhaps only once a year during Chinese New Year). Everything also ask you to wait ah wait ah. They take an excruciatingly long time to decide whether to chi (eat), pong (three of a kind), arrange their tiles, discard a tile and even to check if they can hu (win) already or not. You can’t blame them simply because they’re new and Mahjong really isn’t as easy as it looks (unless you’ve been playing for a long time then yes, every move is second nature to you). They are also the ones who have a lot of “if” questions. “If I have this tile, then can I… I’m not saying I have it ah, but if I do…” Yes, everyone knows you have it lah, so you are already playing at a disadvantage. That’s why there’s a common saying that as a new Mahjong player you will need to jiao xue fei (pay school fees). It’s inevitable, a rite of passage if you may.

The “Can Hu Just Hu”

They are the ones who just pong and chi, they form the most chapalang (mixed) winning combinations – as long as there’s a minimum of 1 fold, they will try their best to win that round. This way of playing is more common amongst beginners but is also a tactic used by experienced players. The thing about Mahjong is that unlike poker, it is more luck based than skill based. When you play shooter (the person who discards the winning tile has to pay for the other 2 players as well), you have to “listen” to what the tiles are telling you. Especially when you are aiming for 5 folds but the tiles that you draw are making it incredibly difficult, you’ve got to change your playing style for that round. In such cases, experienced players may choose to play the chapalang way if it helps increase their odds of winning that round without having to discard a tile that would cause them to lose. In a sense, a small win is better than giving away a big win to someone else.

The “Sibei Annoying”

They ALWAYS have something to say. It’s commentary nobody asked for. Mostly annoying, occasionally entertaining. When you discard a tile they will say things like “wah just now I want, you never throw. Now I don’t want already then you throw” or “I hungry liao, can feed me or not” and if they didn’t win that round but was close to winning, they’d reveal their tiles at the end and say things like “wah, you see I waiting already leh”. Literally nobody asked but thanks for sharing.

The “Mahjong Aimai”

They are the ones who will always jio (invite) others for Mahjong, it doesn’t matter if it’s a workday or if it’s 4 in the morning, they are always up for a game. When they say no to a Mahjong game it’s usually because they already have another Mahjong game planned. These people simply love the game to the point of borderline obsession, win or lose they will still keep wanting to play.

The “God of Gamblers”

They are what every Mahjong player aspires to be. The shifu (master), the one who can tell what tile they drew simply by touching it. There’s a certain aura around them, they instil fear/awe from the moment they stack the tiles (their speed can be very intimidating for new players).They are extremely observant and deductive. Just by watching you play, they have a very good idea of the tiles you have in hand and the tiles you are waiting for. They are the ones who rarely throw the winning tile. It’s amazing to watch them play but rather terrifying to be playing against them at the same table – odds are you’re going to lose.