Polyamory – What is it?

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For someone living in Asia, polyamory is not a common term we come across, neither is it widely openly practiced. For the most part, some of us have never even heard of the word or we could have but don’t exactly know what it means. Today, lets dive deeper and take a closer look at this controversial topic.

According to WebMD, “Polyamorous people have multiple loving, intentional, and intimate relationships at the same time. Polyamory is a type of open or non-monogamous relationship that follows certain guidelines. Polyamory specifically refers to people who have multiple romantic relationships at the same time. It does not mean any type of open relationship that may include more casual sexual partners.”

Isn’t polyamory just cheating?

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not. Cheating is cheating and it can happen in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship. How polyamory works is through having open communication with your partners and establishing clear boundaries. Each one of them knows and are agreeable before you can be with someone else romantically at the same time while you’re in a relationship with your partner(s). So if you’re hiding it from your partner(s), yeah that’s cheating.

Aren’t polyamorists just people who are afraid of commitment?

If you’re referring to commitment that looks like marriage, I see why you think so. Just putting it out there, polyamory and polygamy are 2 different things. Polygamy involves marrying more than one person (which is illegal in most parts of the world). Polyamory, as mentioned earlier, is being in romantic relationships with more than one person (not marrying multiple partners). Now back to the fear of commitment bit, it really depends on how you look at it. If you’re being in devoted relationships with multiple partners, it’s probably going to require a lot of commitment with all the trust and communication involved.

How does it work though? Do they spend “equal” amounts of time with each partner…?

Like every other relationship out there, each polyamorous relationship is different. Even under the umbrella term of polyamory, there are different types of polyamorous relationships such as Solo polyamory, Polyfidelity, Hierarchical polyamory and Non-hierarchical polyamory.

Say for example Hierarchical polyamory. There are primary, secondary and even tertiary relationships involved. The primary partners receive the most time and attention as compared to the others. As for Non-hierarchical polyamory, in theory everyone receives relatively equal time and attention.

If you’re keen to learn more about what polyamory is, there is a TikToker that goes by the account name @polyphiliablog that shares with viewers more in depth explanations. Check it out here:

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